Owning your awesome with how you look

by | Sep 8, 2013 | Mindset, Self Discovey

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The other day, I received a free gift in the mail because of my “influence” on Klout.com. Basically, I was given free samples of Freeman’s line of Vita-K Professional products (pictured above) because I’m a Klout Influencer. I am under no obligation to receive the sample or talk about Freeman or its products. And, other than the free gift, I get no additional benefits for talking about them.

But, I had a very powerful experience this week that has really helped me clarify what I mean by my brand “The Own Your Awesome Business & Life Coach.” And I realized that, although I don’t talk about beauty products, I could use this opportunity to share some thoughts about all the different ways you can own your awesome.

Wednesday and Thursday of last week, I had the opportunity to work with my friend, speaker coach, and amazingly talented singer, Cindy Ashton on my speaking voice, Celebrate You! speech and offerings. It was transformative! We worked on breath … how to breathe and speak from your solar plexus to project your message more powerfully. We worked on the different parts of my speech. And, we worked on the various offerings I have related to that speech and my Own Your Awesome brand. All this work made me realize in how many different areas of our lives we can either own or not own our awesome.

When I received the Vita-K products in the mail, it occurred to me that I had an opportunity to start talking about the many ways we can all own our awesome in business and life, and how the lines between the two overlap, especially for entrepreneurs. It also gives me the opportunity to walk my talk and truly step into my role as a model for owning your awesome.

For example, when it comes to our bodies, owning your awesome could mean for one person working out three times a day, but for another owning your awesome could mean three times a week. Each person’s version of owning their awesome is different and unique. Only you really know if you’re owning it or not. However, when you aren’t, your clients and prospects can feel, sometimes only subconsciously, that something is off.

Therefore, owning your awesome (or not) impacts your bottom line, whether you like it or not. It also means that regardless of how successful you are right this minute, if you are not owning your awesome in all areas of your life … you are leaving money on the table.

I’ve been leaving money on the table for way to long. I’ve spent the last two years working on my mindset, it is time to start working on my appearance, as well. So here’s what I’m going to do: I took a before picture of my hands and face and I’m going to use the products for four to six weeks, as directed, taking pictures of my face and hands once a week. If the products work, we should notice a difference.

Here’s what I look like at day 1:
Click on the image for a larger view.

Caveat: I know I’m not a the best person to do this because I’ve been blessed with such good skin, and I look younger than my years. My crow’s feet aren’t that bad. The only deep lines I have on my face are on my forehead and they aren’t that deep. And age spots only started showing up on my face, like light freckles underneath my eyes and across my nose, and hands a couple years ago. So any difference won’t be that dramatic.

But, that doesn’t mater. What I’m doing here is showing you how I’m stepping up my game and owing my awesome with my skin care regimen … just one small step that you can choose or not choose to do, as well.

I first started using sunscreen on my face regularly in my 20s, thanks to my mom’s advice. But, during my less-than-perfect marriage, I stopped. In fact, I stopped taking care of my body in many ways. I gained weight (going from my 143lb pre-marriage weight up to as much as 252lbs — I’ve lost some of that weight since leaving my husband). I stopped working out regularly. I stopped buying feminine clothes. Basically, I stopped owning my awesome when it came to my looks … I stopped feeling good about the way I looked and stopped making attempts to looks nice all together.

When I left my now ex-husband in December 2010, I started the journey of self-discovery that has recently manifested in my caring about the way I look and the clothes I wear. It is my intention for this Vita-K exercise to undo some of the damage I did to my skin. Let’s see if it works!

I also hope it will help me re-ignite my healthy skincare routine so that I will continue to treat my skin well for the rest of my life.

And, as I’ve found in so many of the own your awesome work I’ve done so far, I expect that working in this one small area of my life will have an impact in other areas of my life and business, as well. I can’t wait to find out how!

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Now its your turn:
Have you been owning your awesome when it comes to your self-care regimen? Do you take care of your skin? Your hair? Are you wearing clothes that bring you joy? Or that hide you from the world (like I did)? Where in your life have you let things slide and not fully owned your awesome? Please share your insights, stories, and wisdom in a comment below.


  1. Patsy Rae Dawson

    Hi Carma, This was a surprising and excellent article that I enjoyed reading very much. I especially appreciate your insightful question to us, your readers: Are you wearing the clothes that bring you joy? Or that hide you from the world (like I did)? My divorce finalized a month before yours did. I, too, have been on an amazing journey of discovering who I really am. And rediscovering attractive, cheerful clothes was just part of it. While I did hide from the world from taking to heart the daily put downs, I hid more from myself. When we numb ourselves to survive a much-less-happy than happy relationship, it numbs us to everything–I mean everything. We don’t realize the depth of it until we get away from it and start blooming. You are RIGHT ON regarding our awesomeness must be total.
    To rediscover who I really am, soon after my divorce I began the journey of becoming a certified Advance Personality Trainer. Our personality and happiness is reflected in the clothes we wear. Last year I attended a week long conference for women. The first night, I was shocked at how depressed everyone looked–except for two women, and I was one of them. It was not only the dullness of their expressions, but it was also their clothes. It was both style and color–the absence of looking alive.
    I got so many compliments that week by women I had just met about how cute I was. At the end of the week, one lady sat down beside me and said, “I’ve been watching you.” I hadn’t noticed her watching me. She continued, “There’s something about your eyes…. They sparkle.”
    Like you, Carma, I was on a journey to discover my personal awesomeness and it was coming out in everything I did, said, and the way I looked. If we suppress part of ourselves to survive a bad situation, it closes down everything about us. Yes, I was hiding from the world, but I was mainly hiding from myself because deep down, I didn’t believe I was worthy.
    Thank you for being so transparent and sharing yourself like this. When we’re hiding from the world, we’re too vulnerable to let ourselves be real. I’ve been getting your newsletters for at least a year before my divorce. The transformation is your pictures–the new sparkle in your eyes–speaks volumes, and it pulls us in to your message.
    You go girlfriend,
    Patsy Rae Dawson

    • Carma Spence

      Thank you so much, Patsy, for your comment. It really touched me. I’m am so thankful that being my goofy, imperfect (but getting better everyday!) self has inspired, touched and/or motivated someone.

      It took some courage to publish this post. I’m happy to know it was worth the “risk.”


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