Why are you worth it?

by | Jul 31, 2014 | Mindset, Video

Comparison monster

Photo: © chrisharvey / PhotoXpress.com; Design: Carma Spence

If you’d like to listen to this post (minus the video), use the player below or listen on Spreaker.
Duration: 3:43

This is the fourth installment of my journey through Soul Dancer’s free Pay Me What I’m Worth course sampler. If you missed any shows, its all good! Click here to access the entire series.

Video Response

NOTE: The video content is separate and different from the audio/text content.

Chapter Three: Why Are You Worth It?

At this point in the Pay Me What I’m Worth journey, we’ve explored the concept of worth, how material possessions affect our perception of worth, and how our skills affect our value. In this chapter we explore worth through comparison — and how to get out of the comparison trap.

Comparing ourselves to others, and even to ourselves, is a natural, almost knee-jerk reaction. How many times (today even!) have you looked at another person — either in your life or on the TV — and compared yourself in some way to that person? Was the person prettier, thinner, sexier, smarter, wealthier, or in some other way “better” than you? Or perhaps you thought the reverse!

Right now, a new season of Last Comic Standing is on the air and how do they vote for who will get up on stage and risk elimination each week? They say to a camera, “I think I’m funnier than…”

We do this all the time, sometimes even subconsciously. But Soul Dancer suggests that when we do this we are interjecting judgment into the equation. And, when you judge, you open yourself to being judged. And how does that feel?

One idea that Soul brings up in Chapter 3 is the idea of fact vs. fiction. What are the facts of our lives vs. what are the fictions we create to help us justify where we are and why we may not be stepping up to the plate? The fictions are often based on fear.

This chapter’s exercise takes some effort. It involves live, in person, research … and opens yourself up to rejection, as well as discovering that the grass may not be so green on the other side after all.

This all brings up some resistance for me, as I mentioned in the video. On the one hand, I like to use my history as a way to shore up my worth. But Soul says that your history will not help you discover why you are worth what you’re worth. I’m still trying to get my head around that idea.

And, there’s also my resistance to getting off my duff and making time to truly research how others experience what I “want to be doing” … even though I’ve done this type of research before.

Where does this resistance come from? In the moment, I cannot say for I do not know. But I’m sure that when our group gets to this chapter near the end of September/beginning of October, I’ll get to face that resistance head-on and discover its core.

Coming up in future installments of this journey:

Explore Your Worth and Become the Master of Your Life

I’m now accepting applications for the next Pay Me What I’m Worth group, which is 12 payments of $149, paid monthly. Learn more and register today at bitly.com/payspence! Together with author of Pay Me What I’m Worth Soul Dancer, we’ll take a 12-month dive into owning your worth and increasing your confidence.

Remember, not everyone will be accepted into the course. You must schedule an exploratory session with me first to determine if you are a good fit for this group at this time.

Join me!

Are you are wondering what this 12-month class can do for you? Listen to what previous students have had to say about Soul’s Pay Me What I’m Worth Master Class.

Anna Banguilan on Performance-Based Contracts (1:50):

Elaine O’Malley on increased confidence in her business (0:43):

Stuart Young on uncovering more confidence than he thought possible (1:59):

1 Comment

  1. Soul

    Aloha Carma,

    One of the more interesting aspects about seeking out a mentor, is how mentors who love to teach, rarely reject requests for help. Mentors who find teaching tiresome, well – sadly – their wisdom will fade for students keep teachers sharp!


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