We all have boundaries. They are the invisible lines we draw in the sand that help us identify ourselves as an individual. And our boundaries exist in every area of our lives: mind, body and spirit. Effective boundaries are strong enough that we keep our word to ourselves and others, but flexible enough to allow for changing circumstances.
A good litmus test of where your boundaries stand, that is are they soft, rigid, spongey or flexible, is in your relationship with money. If you can get that right, then you can get your boundaries where you need them to be in any area of your life.
Here are examples of three ineffective boundaries and how to fix them:
1. Inappropriately discounting your services
The Problem: You find yourself easily saying yes to requests to discount your services or, worse yet, you discount them before even being asked.
The Cause: More often than not, low self-worth. At some point, you decided that you were not worthy of receiving a fair price for what you offer.
The Solution: Bolster your sense of self-worth. There are so many ways to work on this particular problem. I’ve successfully used EFT, muscle testing and affirmations to bolster my sense of self-worth. Also, documenting your achievements is another good method.
2. Not standing firm on receipt of payments
The Problem: You allow clients to be late on their payments and even continue to provide services to those who are behind on their payments.
The Cause: There are two possible causes of this problem. You could have low self-esteem or you could be an over-nurturer, taking care of other people before yourself.
The Solution: Decide that you are worthy of prompt payment and stand firm in that resolve. Yes, a simple decision could do the trick. But to make sure that you don’t go back on that word to yourself, create a policy around this issue and make sure all your clients are aware of it. Find an accountability partner who will help you stand firm. And, of course, work your self-esteem issues.
3. Putting things off that will help move you forward
The Problem: This can show up in several ways: You delay investing in your personal growth, you delay investing in your business, or you put off saving money.
The Cause: Again, this is a worthiness issue. At some time in your life, you devalued yourself and now use self-sabotaging behaviors to “prove” that you are, indeed, not worthy to succeed.
The Solution: Uncover where that decision came from and re-write your self-story in a more empowering way with lots of self-love. For example, if you didn’t get picked for the team in school until you were the only person left, you might have explained that in broad terms to mean you aren’t worthy of being chosen for anything. Your re-write will acknowledge that the kids either didn’t trust your sports skills at that time because of past performance, or simply they just didn’t know you. It was case specific … not a generalization of your overall worthiness.
Here are some additional resources than can help you strengthen your sense of self-worth and therefore empower your boundaries around money and anywhere else.
- Watch the replay of my webinar: The Four Pillars of Money Empowerment
- Read Soul Dancer’s book Pay Me What I’m Worth. You can buy the book on Amazon or download it for free from his website. You can even check out the series I did on the book on my blog.
- Do you know when to say no … to yourself?
- Release Hidden Barriers to Your Success
- 6 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem
Announcing “The 4 Pillars of Money Empowerment”
On January 22, 2015, I’ll be holding my first live webinar in which I’ll be diving into the topic of money empowerment. I’ll explain what money empowerment is and share ways in which you can empower yourself in the four areas of Money Empowerment. You can grab your seat here.
Originally created for the TidBitts.com platform, launched in September of 2014, my content on Fridays helps you “Own Your Awesome” in the eight facets of your life.
Eventually, PDF and audio versions of Own Your Awesome Friday content will be made available. If you’d like to know when this content becomes available, complete this form: