Defining success in relationships

by | Mar 20, 2015 | Building Relationships, Mindset

Our relationships with others — our friends, our family, our children, our lovers, our co-workers, our clients, our vendors, etc. — color the fabric of our lives. What we attract and what we put up with can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. So how do you define success in your relationships?

I recently had an experience that brought this topic to the forefront. I met someone I thought was a really nice guy … and in many ways, he was. But then our conversations over the phone became a little — how shall I put it? — wackadoodle. He was telling me things that were, frankly, inappropriate for someone I’d only known for a month and had only gone out with twice.

Part of my self-definition is being a good person and a good friend, so initially I tried to be there for him. Be supportive. But as things got weirder, I realized I had to make a choice between self-care and sacrificing myself on the altar of another. I chose self-care.

A good exercise to help you know when you are being, doing and having a healthy relationship with another is to write down a list of all the qualities you look for in that type of relationship. I suggest starting with what you look for in a friend. And then moving on to other types of relationships.

Here are some suggested things to consider for your list:

  • Attitude
  • Habits
  • Do they have your back?
  • Interests
  • How they treat others
  • How they treat you

The more detailed the list the better. Once you have your list, you can now evaluate the quality of current and new relationships as they occur. Also, when you see points where a current relationship is less than ideal, you can take actions to either fix, limit or end that relationship.

You deserve to have healthy, supportive relationships with the people in your life. And you are the one who decides what you want and what you are not willing to put up with.


March is International Expect Success Month, so for the four Fridays this month, I’ve be talking about success from a variety of angles.

Up next: Defining business success


Originally created for the TidBitts.com platform, launched in September of 2014, my content on Fridays helps you “Own Your Awesome” in the eight facets of your life.

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